Vacation

Junk emails are making me a little sad today. Specifically, the one I got from Carnival describing deals for fabulous cruises leaving from New York and Baltimore. I can only imagine they are fabulous as any cruise I have been on has been amazing. An entire week of a team of people at your beck and call- what more could anyone want?

My cruising experience has totalled four. My first cruise was a group of ten people I didn't really know all that well at the start. We had more fun than you would think could fit into a week. All cruises will compare that that vacation. We did the shows, games, art auctions, the free happy hours, excursions, meals and piano bars together. I have a scrapbook that documents everything.

The following year, the thought of not going on vacation was too much to bear, so I booked a cruise by myself. I knew no one. It was relaxing and restful and a little bit boring. I made a lot of small talk with who ever was around. I'm not a huge fan of small talk, but I did it anyway. I went snorkeling alone. I walked around San Juan alone. I read lots of books, lounged by the on deck pool, and went to the shows. Alone. One meal when my dippy Canadian table mates didn't show up, I ate alone. I enjoyed it but in a bittersweet too-much-time-alone way.

Then I won a cruise to Bermuda. A free cruise from Stampin' Up! at the end of April and during PSSA testing (which is an exhausting three days of tedious testing) was heaven. The weather wasn't as hot as we had hoped, but hell- it was a free cruise. My friend Anne and I had an incredible time and spent most evenings with our new friends from dinner. Some nights, we laughed so hard that we drew a crowd. Like I said, heaven. Bermuda itself was just ok, I wouldn't race back but did we have fun!

My last cruise was with my sister and brother-in-law. We get along well and worked out how to balance what everyone wanted. It was fun, but a controlled fun dictated by the rigid needs of my brother-in-law. We couldn't sit by the pool because that was too many people crowded together. We didn't eat in the main dining room because they didn't want to have to sit with people they didn't know. The restaurants were good food too and I ate my share, don't get me wrong. But I felt like we were avoiding everyone else on the ship.

The offers from Carnival always make me wistful, but not just to go on a cruise. Cruising this summer would be nice, but I want to go on a vacation with someone. This is a common theme for me. I long for a companion. I want to plan a vacation, dream about excursions, share memories with someone. It's like the tree falling in the woods scenario. If you take a vacation by yourself, does it really count if you're the only one who remembers it.