It had to happen sometime

I have a cold. It's not a bad cold, but I still don't feel good. Sore throat, minor cough, irritated sinuses. My most problematic symptom is self-pity. However, this is a good test. Let's see if I get special treatment. Just once, I want someone to offer to get me ginger ale. I want someone to cover me with blankets and put on movies so I can veg out. Is it possible to get a prescription for snuggling?

The Friends

Saturday night marked an important event. Meeting the friends. Our Friday lunch conversation led to the realization that one couple was child free on Saturday. It was a matter of two and a half minutes until a time and place was determined. While the email I sent was posed as a question, I made it clear that it wasn't really a question of if he wanted to go out with my friends the next night. The question was, do you want to go out with my friends on Saturday or do you want to stay home alone. I think he laughed. It wasn't that we hadn't talked about meeting each other's friends. We just hadn't talked about it happening with such little notice.

Saturday morning, we went to breakfast, drove around a little to find the tennis courts still covered in snow (my tennis lessons are on hold for now), showed him my school and office, and then took a nice walk around my neighborhood. Then we took the dogs for a walk. All four of them. Getting four dogs to walk at the same pace is impossible. For us to take a walk together with the dogs means we'll have to leave some of the dogs at home. It's incredible that temps in the 50s seem like summer when you're used to 30 degrees.

Prior to leaving for breakfast, a warning was issued. Because he wanted to go back to The Breakfast Hut (he liked it more than the other diner we tried), I couldn't promise that we wouldn't run into my sister and brother-in-law. Their usual Saturday included The Hut, farmer's market, Sam's Club and Tractor Supply. They weren't there as we walked in so I thought we were safe. Alas, their morning had a late start and I saw them as we were walking out. The introduction was brief and cordial. And I'm wondering how long it took for her to call to my mom.

The evening went swimmingly. Conversations were varied, interesting and lively. I got knowing looks from my friends and from Jose. He did have a couple beers which led to the conversation on the way home of what things I say that shouldn't be repeated for others. Really, it was only the awkward moment of the evening that we had to laugh off so I can't complain. For the sake of my self preservation and that of my mom, ask me in person and I'll share.

I can't recall feeling so ....I don't even have a word for it. Comfortable? No, I need a word more meaningful. Content? Sounds like a word to use when you are settling. Positive? Too clinical. Happy? God, I sound like an idiot teenager. But that's it. I'm so happy. I'm happy with all the parts of the time I spend with him. I'm happy watching him when there is a soccer game on. He doesn't care who is playing, but still screams when someone scores a goal. I'm happy when he teases me about dumb stuff- like how I squeeze the toothpaste or my small TV in the living room or hitting potholes when I drive. He calls me a Girl Scout when I floss my teeth at night. He can tell me stories about politicians and government. He texts his daughter that he loves her every night. And he lets me know when he is thinking about me.

He's said to me, "I know you're not perfect, but you're perfect for me." That takes my breath away. But we're not going to rush anything. He keeps reminding me that we're going to get to know each other. I'm not sure if that is so I don't freak out or so he doesn't. So in June, he mentions that we will see where we are. I know where I am hoping to be.

Snow Days

This winter has been snowy, bitterly cold and almost miserable. We've had a ton of snow days, more than I can remember in a long time. Days off aside, the two hour delays have made continuity at school a bit challenging. I feel like I can't really get in the swing of things at school and it's hard to remember what I need to do and in what order. But I can't really say I've been complaining about these last few snow days. I've had company.

Most recently, we were expecting 12 to 18 inches of snow the day before Valentine's Day. The original plan for Valentine's Day involved Jose going to a meeting in Maryland and me being alone for Valentine's Day. Again. While I was a bit bummed, I wasn't ready to slit my wrists. We said I would make dinner on Saturday. I'm not a mushy, romantic and I was fine with that. With a white weather forecast, plans changed. The meeting was cancelled, there was no way we would have school and it was decided that Jose would come to my house before anything made driving dangerous.

In general terms, he arrived Wednesday night and left Monday evening. On Saturday, he went home for what was supposed to be most of the day. But after a couple hours, he called to tell me he didn't feel like doing any of the things he was supposed to do (laundry, birthday cake with the neighbor, groceries) and he wanted to see if it was ok to come back to my house early. So basically, it was four and a half days together. And it was all wonderful.

I am not the kind of girl who is sappy, always cheery or all sunshine and lollipops. I really struggle to find words to explain this. This sounds like one of those stories that dumb girls tell all their friends about how blissfully happy she is to just sit in the same room as her boyfriend. Or how she feels like she has known him forever. Or how they talk endlessly and he really listens to her. Blah, blah, blah. Most times, I would be making a vomiting motion by now. Except I'm the one saying those things.

I mean, really, who wakes up on Valentine's Day to hear that he called your favorite restaurant to make reservations? I was really hoping for a card too, but the timing of the snow screwed things up. And he did shovel my driveway three times to clear the massive amount of snow. He gets a pass. This year only. We went out for breakfast over the weekend and sat at the diner long enough I thought they were going to give us the lunch menu. He comments how much he likes my outfit when I'm wearing yoga pants. Yoga pants!

As you shake your head at me, I understand this is not reality. Reality is when things don't go well, and someone snaps. Well made plans go awry and then you really see what someone is like. I know this is looming. But the talks we've had make it seem like it won't be a big deal. We've disagreed about shoveling my driveway. Dumb as it was, it worked out. We had a rational conversation and reached resolution. Dare I say, we even compromised? I've never been so good at the compromising thing. Then, there was a misunderstanding about a joke. He thought he was leading me to compliment him, and I thought he was side stepping an issue. So I brought it up and we talked about it openly. It clarified the misunderstanding. And there wasn't a problem. This is new to me. Reflecting on it kind of even baffles me. A possible summer vacation was discussed. If we pick a cruise from Florida, he offered to pay my airfare- which of course caused me to make a face. I didn't even realize I did that, but he asked me about it. So I told him what I was really thinking, which was that I didn't expect him to pay for any part of it for me.

That's not to say we are only talking serious stuff. We went to the Pagoda. The road was still icy and I did joke about it being a good place to hide bodies. Air hockey proved to be a lot of fun. When we reached a tie of 3-3, I suggested we quit there. He thinks I was joking when I said I was a sore loser. And he let me pick a chick flick for our first movie. He did lose a few points when he told Niko that he smelled like cheese. But all is forgiven when I see the note he left for me on my toothpaste. It's not a love note. No, it's a note from the toothpaste, begging for mercy from being strangled. Apparently, you're supposed to only squeeze toothpaste from the bottom of the tube and not just grip the middle haphazardly. There are a bunch of things we laughed at that remain just between us.

And now the part I'm almost ashamed to admit. When he works from my kitchen, I like sitting in the same room with him. I like hearing him work, talk to customers, tell me about his co-workers or the emails he gets. I've spent more time grinning like an idiot this past weekend than I care to admit. During the second round of shoveling, I was prepping potatoes for dinner. I stood at the kitchen counter smiling. Because I was roasting potatoes for our dinner. A contented feeling washed over me as I was cutting them into chunks. Good God, what is wrong with me? Don't answer that.

The theme is still that I'm not freaking out. I've known him three weeks and I don't want to get ahead of myself. But I can't stand that it will be about 51 hours until I might see him next. It almost makes me wish for another snow day.

Hidden Posts

I've written two posts since For The Record. If you're wondering where they are, I haven't posted them. Mainly, they have been my crazy musings, my neuroses that I can't even admit to having. It's the running dialogue that races through my mind and once I figure it out, I'll share. That might take a while.

The bottom line is this: I don't know how to date. I'm dealing with someone an hour away, so a mid-week "let's grab dinner" becomes a challenge. And weekends are looking less like dates and more like trial living arrangements. That might be an exaggeration. I'll let you decide. This weekend logged a little over 36 hours together. And Sunday night we still talked on the phone for another hour. It might have been two. That is NOT dating in it's usual terms. Not that I am unhappy with spending 36 hours with him. We never run out of things to talk about. We make each other laugh. I really enjoy spending time with him. Who wouldn't want someone around calling you baby doll and shoveling snow? For now, I'm just going to relax. Take things as they come. I'm not going to freak out. Although I am very tempted.

For the Record

For the record, I am not freaking out. This is a major accomplishment for me. It took having a few people tell me in various ways that I need to just enjoy things as they progress. The support I found was reassuring. For the most part.  It was reassuring to hear that I should just relax. My least favorite way to hear this was, "You are crazy. This is what you wanted." I am totally enjoying all the cute stuff that is happening now. He holds my hand and touches my hair. I know that won't happen forever. He poured me a glass of orange juice. Never mind that I don't drink orange juice, he didn't know that, but what a nice gesture.

I am dropping my expectations, as opposed to lowering my standards. I did that before. That was how The Tool found his way into my social life and my bed. Thankfully that was short lived and I didn't make that same mistake again when he resurfaced a second time. I'm not expecting that this will fulfill my every fantasy nor end tragically. It's been so comfortable to be around him that I don't feel that tightening in the pit of my stomach while I'm waiting to hear from him.

The most important expectation that I have dropped is that I don't need to know how everything is going to turn out. I am releasing that aspect of my control freak self. I don't have to decide if I am selling my house and moving to York. The hour drive isn't going to be thought of as 'my future commute'.

Don't get me wrong, we're still learning a lot about each other. Like music. He had me listen to songs he likes. Some seemed slow to me and not my exact taste. I couldn't guess any of the 70's artists. There were some Spanish songs that sound folk-sy and I could translate a word or two (bailar, corazon). As he teaches me more Spanish, I'd probably like it better.  I played some music for him. He probably felt the same way. To point out something new, he says 'for the record'. For the record, I learned he likes orange juice with pulp. We talked basic finances, including the taboo salary question. He initiated the discussion. He looked at my closets and didn't leave the house screaming. He did say he can see some better ways to organize things. He's right, but at least he didn't start hanging the pile of sweatshirts in front of me. We still have a lot to learn. And lots of time to do just that. And I am not freaking out.

He is definitely a type A. I'm not but I am stubborn. So when he was helping to clear my driveway of ice, it drove him crazy that I don't shovel in straight lines. He took the shovel from me. And he felt compelled to neaten the edges I had shoveled from the last snow. Inside a little voice was speaking to me of judgement. It was like saying that what I had done wasn't right. (Seriously, I'm going to be offended about shoveling?) We all know it wasn't about shoveling, but about my decision of how to handle something. And an unspoken judgment how I handled it might have been the wrong way. And then a beautiful thing happened. I let it go. It was important to him to have it done in a way that he saw as properly, he wasn't asking me do anything and it was making a situation for me better, so let him do what he wants. I don't have to control this. He is shoveling my driveway, so good God, don't say a thing! And I didn't. And we were both fine.

For the record, he loves history. Me? Not so much a fan of history-boring. But he speaks with such passion and knowledge about it and isn't that what is most important? And his reference to The Iliad and The Odyssey made me swoon. He is teaching me Spanish. Ok, so our first lesson lasted about ten minutes, but ended with the word beso. For the record, that is just fine with me.