The Difference a Year Makes

Exactly one year ago I wrote my first blog post. It was a very late Sunday night, and I needed to purge the thoughts swirling through my brain to even consider sleep. I still remember the sickening feeling I had in my stomach. What had I signed up for? What did I expect from the matchmaking service? I was nervous, excited and nauseous at the thought of who they would find for me to meet, and more importantly, getting feedback on how to get better at dating. Time is a funny thing. It seems like such a long time ago. If I had been asked in January, I probably wouldn't have said that. I could have recited the calendar dates of the meetings they set up. I could share vivid details of outfits I wore, what I ordered, when there were lulls in the conversation.

Three months ago, I met Jose. It seems like I've known him longer than three months. We've yet to have a lull in a conversation. That doesn't mean one of us is talking every second we're together but our conversations easily flow from one subject to another. We've discussed things as simple as his hatred of hard boiled eggs, my hatred towards the Baltimore Ravens to as serious as combining finances and households. And I'm not freaking out. Neither is he. I know there is still a lot of work and learning and compromise to be done. I'm not foolish to think this will be easy. But we've tackled one situation- the meeting of the family- with flying colors. My parents really liked him, and we enjoyed Easter dinner together. I was more nervous about being late or overcooking the vegetables than what they would think of him. I knew they would get along with him. To meet most of his family, we'd have to travel to Peru. He asked me if I would go with him, and I would. Realistically, that wouldn't happen for at least six months, probably the summer of 2015. Planning something for a year from now doesn't seem crazy.

Things have changed in the past year. I joined Weight Watchers and have lost 40 pounds. I'll be going for a long time because I have more to lose. I started using a Couch to 5K app. I remember when running for 3 minutes felt like torture. My first 5K is in three weeks. And I have more scheduled. The most importance difference from a year ago? I was feeling restless, discontent. My sister would refer to it as my 'tumbleweed' stage. Whatever you call it, it's not there anymore. I'm happy. That's really all I've wanted in life, to be happy. In most movies I watch or books I read, I always root for a happy ending. Call it childish or unrealistic, it's always better if there's a happy ending.  Time will tell if I finally found my own happy ending.