High Maintenance

I can admit I'm high maintenance. I'm demanding, impatient and I want a lot of attention. Not attention in a "look at me" way, but rather I want someone to call me, pamper me, include me in their life and fawn over me. That's not too much to ask, right? Alas, not everyone has the same idea as me regarding this.

So as FG progresses at the rate of a mutant snail, I'm ready to spout off  about moving things along. I tried to talk to him in the car last night, but he seemed uneasy. I value my life and know enough not to distract someone driving. I didn't really get to the heart of my questions. What is he waiting for? I'm not getting any younger, time is a-wasting, and let's face it: I'm a catch. (Why am I the only one who feels that way?)

I plan this conversation in my head when I can't fall asleep at night. I want to ask him if he really wants to be dating? He stated he is set in his ways. So am I, but I want someone in my life. I'm not sure he does. He tells me all kinds of plans that he has but never mentions me joining him. Soon, it will be time to scout for deer (or something like that). Alone. He seems fine to do everything by himself. I know habits you've done for 20+ years are hard to break. But I don't get the impression he wants to break any of them. I want to ask him if he is attracted to me. He seems to hug everyone else without an issue, but barely connects when he kisses me goodnight. I want to ask him if he wants to spend more time with me. Except, I'm not sure I want to hear the answer to that. Really, I want to know if he sees himself married. And more importantly, does he see himself buying large, sparkly jewelry?

I did get a few answers. Very few. Twice he was dating someone, then found out she was dating someone else. Yeah, been there and it sucks. But I like to think I took less than 20 years to get over it. I also learned that he still interrupts me so it must not be nerves. As we talked about the size of extended family, I was mid-sentence when he started talking again. I hadn't paused for effect, I was in the middle of talking. That means he totally wasn't listening to the words coming out of my mouth. After that I wasn't listening to the words coming out of his mouth either because all I could think about was saying, "Oh, I'm sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt you?"

And I met a co-worker, K, last night. I'm sure he had the hots for her. He still might. She has perfected flirting in a non-flirting way and he was hanging on her every word. When they were both single, he told me they went out for drinks, went to lunch, were each others' dates for company parties but never dated. Blah, blah, blah. So last night, when she switched her drink to vodka, she set her newly opened bottle in front of him and cooed, "FG, finish this beer for me." Ugh, <gag>. Then he did. They aren't in the same office anymore from what I gathered. I don't really understand the hierarchy of his work yet, but I have to admit that fact isn't terribly upsetting.

All this high maintenance really boils down to one thing. I want someone who wants to be with me. When we're home from work, it would be nice for someone to be happy to see me, hear about my day, rub my neck as I complain about dumb stuff like kids that don't do their homework and parents who have no control over their kids. My dogs do all that, except the neck rub part. Can a man be trained to do the same? (There are two things holding me back from training my dogs on the neck rub part- I don't have enough treats and they don't have thumbs.) I want someone who knows that it's a huge deal when I bake a pie for you. I want someone to miss me when I'm not with them. And I can't stand the thought that he might not.