Hold on

Two dates in one week. Dinner on Thursday and a picnic on Saturday. Can you believe it?

Vietnamese food, three hours at the restaurant and I still felt a bit ambivalent. We discussed some favorites like movies and music. I'm learning things. Some things are confirmed and some I'm extrapolating.  I don't think he likes to share food. But I made him. The restaurant has great veggie rolls- lettuce, carrots, sprouts and some other stringy, crunchy bits wrapped up in rice paper. The sauce is the best part. It's a peanut dipping sauce. Really the veggies are just the vehicle for sauce. So when the waitress asked if we wanted an appetizer, I basically told him we were splitting them. And since there were two of them, it wasn't tough to split them and spoon the sauce on each bite. But then the entrees came. I offered up a taste of mine right away. We discussed the flavors and he described his meal. Only then did he ask if I wanted to try his. His was duck so I really only wanted to taste the sauce so I picked a piece of broccoli. At the end of the evening, we stood outside the restaurant to say goodbyes. It's tough to get busy in front of everyone enjoying their fro yo.

During dinner, he invited me to a work picnic. Well, it felt more like his work/hunting buddy invited me. I knew I had a birthday party for my favorite five year old twins but also knew it would be completely understood if I ducked out early for a date. Getting FG is provide some info about the picnic was about as easy as getting info from a teen who just got caught. The attendees were easy questions, dress code a bit more challenging. We had to define capri pants, but he still didn't know what women would be wearing. We talked more about him wanting to get a peach pie as his contribution than examples of the important things--should I wear pants, shorts, casual dress? I nailed down that I was going to wear shorts (and pray for a break in the humidity).

I'm starting to learn that you don't get what you don't ask for. Friday morning- day before the picnic- I'm driving home from Lancaster along Rt. 23 hitting every farm stand between New Holland and Morgantown. At my last stop, I picked up some seconds of peaches. It was the only place that had seconds, but it was only a small basket. So I call FG to see if he found his peach pie. Then I offer to make a peach pie. And he responds, "if you want to." Seriously? Someone offers to make you a pie and you say if you want to??? After we went through that series twice, I finally said, "this is where you say that would be lovely". And he did. A light bulb moment for me and hopefully for him. Now we wait to see if this learning experiment is permanent. And on Saturday I made a pie.

The picnic was fun. Well, as much fun as you can have when you only know one person. A little anxiety which I try to hide by wiggling my toes. I would have felt much more at ease with a drink but the risk of red face--not worth it. The host couple was so welcoming and hospitable. I got a gator ride and there were only three times I thought we were going to tip. Without being overwhelming, most of the women who work with FG made a point to question me. . I saw enough stuffed wildlife and skins of various mammals for about a decade. But it was a nice group and I didn't sweat much. Success.

When he dropped me off, I told him he had to get out of the car if give me a proper goodbye. He chuckled. Then he did. We progressed to a kiss on the lips. He still hesitates a bit, but I'm thinking we need to just get tanked and make out and get it over with.

I think I can source the ambivalence. It's my protection mechanism. If I'm ambivalent, then I can't get hurt. And I can't be blamed if it doesn't work out and he gets hurt.

I find that I am analyzing conversations and tucking away little tidbits to bring up later. It's like an odd cat and mouse game. I'm curious but I'm afraid that if I question FG right away, I'll spook him. So some time later, I'll ask him what he meant when he said that other people wanted to set him up. Didn't he want to be set up? Did they give him her number and he never did anything? What did he mean when he told the hostess I don't mind hugs as we said our farewells for the evenings. Does that mean he does mind hugs? But she just gave him a hug? I have a lot of questions. I want to ask him about previous relationships. How long ago and how long were they? What are his deal breakers? What are mine? I have a lot of questions that remain unanswered.