Fun

I'm a different person than I was before.  Before divorce.  Before marriage. Before.  I guess that makes this...after.  That's not to say I know who I am 'after'.  I'm still figuring that out. It's more challenging than you think to try to figure out who you are when you are close to turning 50. It's an existential struggle wrapped up in a mid-life crisis. And it's painful some days.

In the past five years, I've lost myself. When asked what I like to do for fun, I don't know. How did that happen? After my last move, I've downsized my crafting supplies- not that I really crafted much recently. Adult coloring might interest me, but not that I've done anything about it. Reading is something I enjoy but I'm starting to think it is just another way to escape. Cooking is something I do but I'm not making anything exciting these days. That's it. I'm out.

Here's a list of things I do, but not things I like: walking, exercising, working, repeating what I say when my mom doesn't have her hearing aid in. I want to enjoy watching sports again. COVID-19 crushed that.  I'm missing the Olympics and OTAs for football. We're supposed to have NHL playoffs, but when I ask you, when? Dear Lord, I'd even watch baseball or basketball at this point.

As a adult, how do you learn hobbies? How do you rediscover your passions? How can I learn how to be fun again?  That's really my issue.  I feel like I'm not fun anymore. I just finished Shonda Rhimes' Year of Yes. Shonda would be proud of me because I'm saying yes to fun.