The Good, The Bad, The Relationships

In trying to learn from my mistakes, here is the rundown of what I've learned:

The Ex-Also known as "I Needed A Date To My Sorority Formal"- I let him stick around until the formal. I needed a date and he seemed interested in me. Then we had a Spring Hayride and it was nice to take someone without having to get set up by one of my friend's friends or scrounge from some other sketchy means.   One more year of college and I immaturely thought it was a relationship worth something.  Engaged about two months after I graduated.  Married six months after that.  You think you know everything at 23. The lesson: Don't do what is next, do what is right. 

The Navy Boy-Head over heels doesn't even begin to describe it. We spent long, LONG hours on the phone each week and a visit was divine. He remembered things I said long after our conversations were over. It was magical. I was convinced I was meant to be with him and thought about moving to Colorado with him when he left the military. He appeared thoughtful and sentimental.  And he had another girlfriend. The lesson: Boys suck sometimes. 

Unabrewer- When AOL chat rooms were huge, someone from about an hour away from me commiserated on not liking his job, being in our 20s, and general dissatisfaction of our lives.  We met for a margarita. Friendly, but no physical contact- OK,he's not interested. I can handle that. It was six months before he touched my arm.  It was during a Penguins game.  I remember the shock because I thought he was averse to human contact. We'd go to dinner, hang out, chat online. I felt bad when he brought a bottle of wine to my apartment once and I ended up drinking it with someone else.  What felt the worst was the PA liquor stores didn't carry the same kind, so I had to replace it with something pretty close.  If he noticed, he didn't mention it. I can still remember the night he kissed me.  It was past midnight in June and we were in the parking lot of my apartment complex.  He brought a geeky piece of equipment from work (laser thermometer thing) and we were shooting the laser part into people's windows.  It was a giant laser pointer shaped like a gun...how much more fun could I ask for? He said, "oh hell" then kissed me. I remember walking back to my apartment thinking,"Oh my God.  Now what do I do?" I did what I do best; pretend that things aren't what they really are.  We spent five years of on again, off again, on again, off again, on again, you get the picture.  In all that time, there are a few astounding things. We never used the "L" word. He was never allowed to keep things at my house. And most importantly, he kept coming back after I told him I didn't want to see him anymore. The lesson: One person can't love enough for two people.

The Tool- Not much to say. He was still getting over an ex-fiancee and I was lowering my standards. The lesson: If it walks like a redneck and talks like a redneck, it's a redneck.

My Parents' Nightmare-  Parents didn't approve and it didn't help they couldn't understand a word he said. He was generous with a lot of things except his time. I felt like I was watching the clock impatiently and counting the minutes or hours he was late. Yes, I said hours. The lesson: It's OK to admit that I need to feel like a priority and I don't have to wait as long to do that.